day 2 and 3

those with a keen eye will have noticed that I haven't posted for 2 days  this is because last 2 days have been one for me my sleeping pattern got messed up again and in attempt to correct it i  pulled an all nighters for the most part i have stuck to the diet plan shakes and chicken had an extra shake during the night I did my bike exercise on day 2 but not day 3 as I was just to tired

no swimming though I told myself on day 2 that it was I could not find my swimming shorts but to be totally honest with myself I didn't look that hard this is a stupid fear that is so ridicules I can swim I love to swim once I'm in the water I enjoy myself so much but I am so ashamed of the way I look that I deny myself one of my Favourite  childhood activity's because of what

suppose this is the damage of my school years day in  day out bullied about the way I look I could never list all the names I was called the snide remarks that were thrown at me and a few times beaten because they didn't get a response from me with the names so they would beat it out of me

it was only a select few that were the ones that would do this but you get that every day you start to think that everyone thinks the same things you start to think your worthless so you get down and start to hate yourself the same way that you think ever one else hates you


any way got a little side tracked there  diet   going OK  no real big hiccups other than swimming and i will beat the fear as for food I'm staying away from the bad stuff in fact I find myself not wanting the shakes  but I force myself to have them I have been warned about not having them before

day 2/3 good just need to keep on top of my sleeping pattern

day one results

OK day one went well pretty much stuck to the schedule and tasks  set myself  with the exception of swimming as Thursday my nephew gets out of school early and have decided to use this to spend time with them / stop them driving there nan crazy

woke up before the alarms at 8 20 but waited till about 8 45 before having the breakfast shake

took my tablets when the alarm went off I have added iron tablets  to  the growing list of  things to take

did full 40 minute  exercise session I have found that watching  some sort of light TV show wile on bike makes the time go faster at the moment I have chosen live at the Apollo  as it lasts 43 minutes although keeping a steady breathing rhythm wile in stitches of laughter is obviously challenging so may have to reconsider show choice did experience some nausea after my exercise  for a few minutes  I am told this is normal for some one in a unfit condition as myself and to help relive this feeling my sitting crouched over till it eases

I had lunch later than planned at around 2 pm rather than the planed 1 pm this is because strangely I found that although slightly hungry was not that much that I felt I needed to have my shake.  looking back now I feel  maybe I should of had it at the time planned

as I have said swimming was not planned for today  but I have found that my swimming is closed between 2 pm and 3 pm for school swimming so I am re-scheduling that alarm so that I go swimming at 3 30 pm  this said my nephew engaged me in play fighting that he always loses but seemingly is good enjoyable exercise

tea was near on time and consisted two grilled skinless chicken breast two pieces of bread an BBQ sauce for bit of added extra taste  I am aware that bread is an evil invention but couldn't think of anything else at the time  I have now considered a pita bread  as this I am told is a better choice

as I was at my sisters and I had forgot to take one with me I did not  have my evening nature valley bar snack but my sister aka the evil temptation person did  give me 5 of the small celebration chocolate sweets must strengthen my will against these temptations


in summery the day did go well  few things to consider and alter in the up coming days need to try and avoid evil temptation lady's chocolate's although they were small and I did limit myself to just them and i did not have my planned evening snack so it kinda evens out in my head sort of   I did feel good and was tired at the end of the day so getting to sleep was easy  swimming on day 2 we will see how that goes as I haven't been much in years as I get very embarrassed and try an avoid it even though it was one of my Favourite activity's as a child and young teen

this is Kelvin O'Riley and my weight loss progress signing off on day one

day one the plan

well this is day one of this attempt of getting out of this negative black hole i put myself in  and i have decided to stop the stupid sleeping patterns that have come from not working  and the irregular eating times

i have set alarms on my phone so that things are kept to a good pattern so that i get up at a reasonable time  i eat something for breakfast  lunch tea etc  and that i exercise so that i am burning the fat

I'm going to post on here if i keep to the plan  what i did wrong what i did right everything if i get the confidence up i may start a vlog along side this on youtube anything to keep me on track and aiming for that target

the time table i have set myself on my phone alarms

9am  wake up and have first meal replacement shake

10 30am  have tablets  so far these include B12  omega 3 and vitamin D although i may add more to this list if i find something that will help me stay healthy and lose the weight

10 45 am  wile i was working i bought a exercise bike so i get on this and its a good one that has a setting where you tell it your age weight and height and it works out a 40 min exercise with different resistances to optimizes cardio workout

1 00pm lunch   meal replacement shake or small meal of skinless chicken breast or  tuna  high protein low fat

2 00pm  in effort to keep active with high cardio but low impact i have decided to sign up to my local swimming

6 15 pm tea  once again meal replacement shake or small meal of skinless chicken breast or  tuna  high protein low fat

8 00pm i often  find myself craving something around this time so i have decided to allow myself a small snack  consisting of  "healthy option" bar snack  currently i have chosen nature-vally bar as i do like these

throughout the day i will try and listen to up beat and motivational music to keep me motivated and active and thats my day plan as it stand at the moment I'm thinking of adding an evening session on the bike but i am going to see what my energy levels are like with this so far

lets see if i can keep to it

loseing weight why and so far

my situation

I'm 25 and over weight  ive allways said to myself that  i want to lose weight but never rearly had much to motivate me to lose it

then about two years ago i went to an interview for my dream job  as a casino tech on a cruse ship and i got offered the job

every one was so happy for me  and it was good news but there was one big massive down side

what i didn't no  was that you have to pass a medical to get on ship  to prove that your not a high medical risk. keeping your staff low risk is kinda a no brainer when your on a ship that can be  miles from anywhere and limited medical facilities on-board

the job offer was what they call open ended there are allways difftent posts opening and once i am able to pass the medical i can put my name for the next available post

now i am asthmatic but this has been under control for years and i hardly ever use my medication so this is a minor problem  that would not stop me from getting on ship 

what will stop me is my weight. when i got the job offer i was 22 odd stone  thats over 300lb and for all  you kilo people that over 136 kilo

to pass the medical i have be below 30 on the BMI rating now i'm not going to pretend to understand what or how the system works but using on-line stuff  i found out with my age and height  to get a BMI rating of below 30 i would need to weigh around the 200lb  that 45 kilo  a third of my weight i need to lose

faced with these massive numbers my first reaction  was despair i had my dream job and it was snatched away from me then i realized that i've all ways wanted something to help motivate me to lose weight and could you think of anything more motivating than your dream job

so i started a "diet" basically tried cutting out the bad stuff and it started working in them first 6 months i lost near two stone 24lb  nearly 11 kilo i was so happy and proud and in high spirits but that was over a year ago and my weight loss stopped i started getting down my life started getting affected and ended up going through some rearly bad touth times  started gaining it again falling back into old habits  not bing active snacking eating and drinking crap

but about 4 months ago thanks to a new job and some real good friends  i started losing the weight again and i have lost the weight i gained but now at the end of that jobs contract i was faced with the weight loss stopping and in classic stupid me it got down and started back into the old habits and was very negative about everything  and in doing this lost those close friends that had helped me so much

so thats me right now i think i've hit rock bottom or i hope i have but i am determined not to gain that weight back and continue on this big downer  that has all ready lost me so much and  i no it will only lead to losing my last hope that dream job

so this is an attempt to keep myself motivated focused and keep losing that weight so i can rebuild my life on a cruse ship far away from where i am now or at least thats the plan